This week, give yourself a most powerful gift!

Introduce your CURRENT SELF (who you are right now) to your FUTURE SELF (the person you want to become a year from now).

All you need is your mind and your phone!

Take time out this week to dream. WHO IS THIS PERSON?

Let your mind wonder and explore what is possible for you when anything is possible.

Who do you REALLY want to be one year from now?

Think about all the different areas of your life:
your relationship, your family, your friendships and community, your health, your business, your career and professional success, your hobbies and interests, your physical space and environment, a competency and skill you want to develop and strengthen, a change you want to make within yourself or any part of your life.

What does that look like?

What does that feel like?

What do you hear?

Take the time to dream, and to dream big.
Recruit and use all your senses to help you see in your mind a very real image.

The only rule for dreaming is that anything is possible.

Once you have this clear inspiring mental picture – see yourself.

See the person you are who has this, the person who has achieved this and accomplished this goal.

Whatever your goal may be.

See yourself as the person who has done it! See the person as if it is happening right now, in real-time.

Who are you? How do you think? How do you speak? How do you respond to what comes your way? What is your day like? What is a page in your schedule or calendar like? Who do you spend time with? What are your values? What really matters most to you and how do you live? What is your inner dialogue? How to you inspire and motivate yourself? What is this powerful new identity?

The aim is to get as clear as possible about who your future self is.

Once you can see your future self and feel this being, pick up your smart phone and record yourself.

You are your future-self, giving your current-self the most priceless invaluable advice and insights.

Record a message or video to yourself that you can play over and over again throughout the upcoming year to serve as a powerful reminder about who you are becoming and what your unique, magnificent transformation is all about. Play it as often as you like.

Your recording might sound something like this:

Hi Andi!
I’m so honored to meet you!
It’s me. Well actually – It’s you!
Andi in 2020.
I am your future self.
I am you – exactly a year from now.
I wanted to speak with you and let you know that you are going to LOVE getting to this point in your life, I can’t begin to describe how unbelievable it feels!

I am so happy and grateful to be here right now- boy has it been a long, exciting, brilliant and challenging road but it was so worth it.

Look where I am?

As you can see, I am traveling to such exotic and awesome destinations spreading Personal Development throughout the world. My business is booming and I am literally transforming lives – there is no greater feeling in the world. I feel so lucky.
My work includes XXXXXXX, I have XX clients and deliver XX workshops and keynotes per month.
I have also studied XXXX and add XXXX to my expertise.
Financially, life has taken a real boost B’H. This is where I am now and what I did to get to this point XXXXXX. I made some significant changes that have paid off tremendously. I want to share this with you.
Oh, let’s not forget sport and fitness. I am still doing my daily workouts and for my 40th, I ran overseas – something I have wanted to do for a long time! I’m really proud of myself. This is what I chose to do and this is exactly what I did and how it all worked out!
And the kids, wow let me tell you what has changed in our relationships and how I feel so utterly blessed XXXXXX. This is who I am as a mom today and what I’ve upgraded.
And Arron, my soul mate and best friend, our marriage and the quality of our connection is XXXXXX. This is what I decided to do differently. This is what our relationship is like now and why I am so grateful.
You know me so well Andi. It’s really important to me to be actively involved in our community and charitable organizations. This is where I currently give of my time. I spend time here weekly/monthly doing XXXX – it is so rewarding and leaves me truly uplifted. These are the causes I care deeply about and devote as much as I can to make a contribution XXXXX
Friendship means the world to me. I set aside XXXX time to deeply engage with my friends. Here are some of the fun and meaningful things we do together lately. I am so thankful for the special people in my life and this is how I show my appreciation for them.
My extended family is my treasure. This is what I make sure happens daily/weekly/monthly so that our closeness remains as tight and solid as ever. This is how I prioritize them and the effort I make despite the miles to connect often and genuinely with them.
Andi, I am YOU, one year from NOW.
This is my NEW upgraded MINDSET. This is how I handle setbacks and failure and difficulties. This is what gives me strength and optimism and hope. This is how I leverage my faith. I want to tell you How I now see the world and what I believe is possible XXXXXXXXX
Listen to me. Look at me. Feel what I am describing to you. And Hear my voice each week or as often as you like. I am here to remind you of your dreams. I am here to remind you of what’s important to you and what you want to be investing in. I am here to inspire you and motivate you and encourage you and remind you of what is truly possible for your life and your future.
With every choice you make, you create me.
You become me.
You are me.
Listen wholeheartedly. I am here to guide you.
You have the power starting right now, trust me, with every decision you make to become me – the person YOU have dreamed up, the person YOU have dreamed of.
I am you.
And I can’t wait to meet you next year!

—————————–

Fill in the XXXXX with as much detail as possible.
Keep dreaming.

Let me know how I can support you.

Do something today that your FUTURE SELF with thank you for!

Love,

Andi x

There is a tradition on Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, to eat symbolic foods (‘Simanim’) meant to help ensure that we merit to have a good new year.

I’ve added my own Personal Development flavor.

You’re welcome to print it out and enjoy it at your festive meals with family & friends.

Honey:

There is no better way to wish “sweetness” to those we love than to add a dip of honey! Our greetings and wishes this time of year always include a Shana Tova U’Metukah — a good and sweet new year!

On a practical note, how can we wish this for ourselves too?

A dash of Personal Development – Ask yourself:
What one thing could I add to my life this coming year that brings me joy, makes me smile, and gives me pleasure – this particular thing certainly adds sweetness to my life. This thing will make my days brighter.

Pomegranate:

The rimon, or pomegranate, is special for many reasons. It is one of the Seven Species of Israel and has traditionally been used as a “new fruit” for the Shehechiyanu blessing. And just as the fruits are full of seeds, we hope we’ll be similarly full of plenty merits in the coming year.

A dash of Personal Development – Ask yourself:
What would you love to achieve this year? What seeds are you willing to plant and work on, nourish and grow so that you can reap the benefits a year from now? What seeds in your life are you willing to commit to looking after with consistency, discipline and focused dedication?
(Think about the different areas of your life: relationships, career, health…) A year from now, you’ll be so glad you planted these seeds today. Trust me.

Carrots:

Gezer, the Hebrew word for carrot, sounds very much like g’zar, the Hebrew word for decree. We hope that the new year will wash away all the negatives in our life.

A dash of Personal Development – Ask yourself:
What “negatives” in my life are keeping me stuck, holding me back or sabotaging me? What is really preventing me from creating a life I love? What needs to change? What negative thoughts or beliefs no longer serve me, or grow me or advance me? What negative influences should I try wash away? Be honest with yourself. It’s a tough exercise with huge benefits.

Beets or Spinach:

The Hebrew word for beets, selek, is similar to the word for “remove.” They’re eaten to express the hope that our enemies will depart.

A dash of Personal Development – Ask yourself:
Who or what is your enemy? What do you want to stop doing this year? What do you want to let go of, get rid of and take out of your life so that your new year is better? If we can acknowledge what these are, we can slowly create a plan and strategy for removing them one by one. We don’t need to achieve this alone. We can ask for help and get support. The work begins with a decision to truly want to remove these things.

Black-Eyed Peas, Green Beans or Fenugreek:

Rubia, which may refer to several different types of small beans, or even fenugreek, is reminiscent of the word yirbu, “to increase.” These foods symbolize the hope for a fruitful year filled with merit.

A dash of Personal Development – Ask yourself:
What incredible strengths and resources do I have? What talents, abilities and gifts am I blessed with that I’d love to share more of with the world? How can I be more of a contribution this year? Where do I want to make more of a difference, increase my impact, or add more value to the lives of those around me? Make a list. The more specific, the more clarity will give you the push you need to get started. Just one step in the right direction can take you on the most magnificent and life-enhancing journey. Share and Give more of your best self.

Heads: Fish, Sheep, Cabbage or Garlic:

Including some sort of head on the menu is representative of our hope that we are likened to a head, and not a tail. In other words, we should move forward and make progress in the coming year, rather than follow or linger in the rear.

A dash of Personal Development – Ask yourself:
Where in my life can I show up more? Where can I find the courage to lead wholeheartedly? Where in my life am I playing small? What opportunities are in front of me that I can step into? Where am I blindly following people around me? How can I live with greater integrity? How can I live a more honest, authentic life that is true to my core values?

Gourds:

The Hebrew word for gourd is related to the Hebrew homonyms pronounced k’ra. One word means “to rip,” the other “to announce.” We ask that the Lord rip up any evil decree against us and that our merits be announced before Him.

A dash of Personal Development:
What mistakes of the past am I willing to put aside? Am I ready to use my past as my new starting point and not see it as a prediction of how far I can really go? What lessons can I announce, grab and take with me so that I grow from my failures and use them as stepping stones to reach new heights and cover new ground? Acknowledging something is the first necessary step to transformation. What am I ready to announce?

Dates:

The Hebrew word for dates, t’marim, evokes the word tam, “to end”. On a more positive note, dates, like pomegranates, are one of the Seven Species of Israel.

A dash of Personal Development – Ask yourself:
How can I build monuments with the challenges that have been thrown my way this past year? When one year ends, it also marks the beginning of a new chapter. However, we can’t start the next chapter of our lives unless we are willing to turn the page and begin the new one. Am I ready to forgive? Am I ready to move forward? Am I giving myself permission? What limiting beliefs do I want to cut out of my internal dialogue with myself so that I can turn the page with greater confidence, optimism and faith? Am I ready? Who or what can help me be more ready?

The date fruit is also a symbol of tranquility.

Life is messy and chaotic and hard.
We all face battles every day and difficult turmoil that causes upheaval. The date reminds us that we have a space deep within where G-d resides and our aim is find that inner strength, try our best, live meaningful, purposeful and good lives, seek peace, strive for truth and may the new year bring abundant blessings that enable us to access that haven within amidst any storm.

As you bite into and mindfully chew your date, ask yourself:
What would a calmer life look like for me?
Who am I when I am more present?
When I am at peace, what is it about me that shines?
What is the impact on myself and others when I live this way?

May the year ahead bring countless blessings your way and may the fulfillment you experience as you eat these foods nourish you and give you the vitality to make the best choices to create a Shana Tova – in every essence.

Shana Tova Umetuka,
With love,

Andi

 

A 100% guaranteed way to live a miserable life.

Do not be thankful.

Do not show any gratitude and appreciation whatsoever for everyone and everything you have in your life. Take it all for granted and just assume it’s always going to be there. Don’t let people know how you feel about them and absolutely do not show your feelings or let them know you care deeply.

Do not look after yourself.

Do not eat healthy foods that nourish your body, do not make sure you get sufficient sleep and absolutely not good quality sleep. Do not work out or spend time outdoors in fresh air. No not be active, in fact be as lazy as you could possibly imagine. Do not strengthen your body, or your mind or soul. Do not sit in silence or meditate or rest ever. Do not have routine checkups with your doctor. Push yourself, burn out and don’t stop.

Do not take any responsibility whatsoever for your choices.

Blame others as much as possible. Do not hold on to any power to change your life or your circumstances, be totally passive about whatever comes your way.

Do not take the time to dream, get clarity on your ideal vision and goals.

Walk through life aimlessly, purposelessly and without any deliberate intention to impact anyone or anything. Just be. Don’t set for yourself any meaningful aspirations.

Do not let people see who you really are.

Do not ever leave home without all your masks accounted for. Be who you are not. Don’t unwrap your incredible gifts and please don’t share them with the world – keep them all to yourself. Go right to the end of days with your magnificent talents hidden from sight. Never be authentic or apologetically you. Do not let your guard down or let others see your pain, weakness, idiosyncrasies or truth. Keep them all a secret. No one need to know who you really are – play the facade. Who needs relationships to be based on honesty?

Do not look for the good.

Focus on all the problems and see more of them wherever you look. Always look for what is wrong, not working or missing. Do not try find a lesson or blessing. Keep suffering.

Do not treat people with absolute kindness and respect and do not treat people the way you want to be treated.

Do not care for your environment.

Do not waste your time with litter or waste or recycling. Do not care. Do whatever you feel like doing with no thought about consequences.

Do not make your joy and your values a priority.

Go through your day like a robot on autopilot. Do not have anything to look forward to or get excited about. Keep your day dull, boring, uneventful and without any laughter, fun or enjoyment. Don’t make the most of your time, tomorrow is guaranteed.

Do not see things from another perspective or angle.

Your angle is 100% accurate always. Your particular brain doesn’t delete, distort or generalize any information whatsoever so you can 100% rely on your limited vision. You are always right and it’s never ever worth taking the time to see someone else point of view. You are perfect.

Do not be an encourager, the world has plenty!

Do not show compassion or kindness to yourself or others ever, it’s a sign of weakness. Be harsh, critical and make sure that nothing is ever good enough.

Do not try anything new or take any risks.

Make sure you only do what you have always done. Why would you want a different outcome?

Do not learn, grow or change.

Do not feed your mind or soul.

Do not forgive or apologize. Ever. Hold on to every grudge or resentment with both hands tightly. Never let something go or move on from what was. Dwell on the past as much as possible and move in there. Never say sorry and make things right.

Do not devote any time to benefit others. Do not join any meaningful cause or volunteer your time. Do not make a difference to another life and do not do anything with all of your heart just because you can.

Do not keep moving when things get hard. When a door closes, walk away – in fact run away. Don’t try again, don’t believe in finding a window, don’t be open to other possibilities or second chances. Give up as much as possible as quick as possible.

Do not give yourself permission to live a happy, inspired and purpose-driven life. Do not believe you deserve it or that you are placed in this world to add your unique, beautiful, light that is solely yours. Play small and deprive the people you love of your incredible greatness.

Do not take the time to create a life you love.

Do not print or save this message.

 

 

Just when you think to yourself:

“that’s it”

“there is simply nothing left”

“I’m done”

I’ve actually got some really good news for you!

There is another move you are always free to make, at any given moment.

There is a tiny part, often buried way deep down inside of us, that absolutely has an extra supply of whatever we need right now.

Its a resource well, that merely awaits our activation!

It’s available to every single one of us and is activated by choice. This means, that when we choose to access it intentionally, it’s ours. 

This remarkable supply has that little bit extra of whatever we need.

It is kind of so magical, it amazes me daily, many times!

Some days it’s a little more patience.

Some days it’s a little more energy.

Some days it’s a little more faith.

Some days it’s a little more courage.

Some days it’s little more flexibility.

Some days it’s a little bit more perseverance.

Some days it’s a little bit more effort.

Some days it’s a little bit more compassion.

Some days it’s a little bit more encouragement.

Some days it’s a little bit more attention to detail.

Some days it’s a little bit more hope.

Some days it’s a little bit more optimism.

Some days it’s a little bit more love.

Some day’s it’s a little bit more understanding.

Some days it’s a little bit more assertiveness.

Some days it’s a little bit more forgiveness.

Some days it’s a little bit more fire.

Some day’s it’s a little bit more resilience.

Truthfully, the supply in its variety of resources is endless!

So this is a gentle, loving reminder.

I know what it feels like to be depleted – to feel like there is just nothing left. 

I also know that we get to access this tremendous powerful supply of “extra” when we need it most and believe me, I see it work in my own life on days where I feel I’m running on empty and I see the unbelievable impact it has on my clients – it makes the world of difference.

Think about where you are currently feeling a little stuck.

Think about what’s not working out as you had hoped.

Think about where you feel drained, exhausted and frustrated.

Think about what you’re willing to give up on.

Now, ask yourself:

If only I had a little bit more of XXXXX.

What would that one thing be?

What is that resource you desire more than anything that would make the difference to where you are right now?

Have you chosen one.

Great! Write it down. Think about it wholeheartedly. What does it mean for you to have more of this in your life right now? What does it look like, and feel like? How can you measure it? If you had it, what one thing would you do differently?

Now search inside yourself.

It’s right there. It’s yours. It always has been. It’s extraordinary.

Now, choose to activate it.

Choose to ignite that very resource within you.

What does someone with an extra drop of that exact resource do in this very moment?

You know.

Now, go do that.

Dig deep, dive inwards, find it, choose it, recruit it, leverage it, maximize it and take action. Right now, trust me.

You are extraordinary.

 

 

Last year, I committed to a full year of reading in Hebrew.

I decided to read one book a month in Hebrew, not just to expose myself to the leading experts in my field of Personal Development here in Israel and learn as much as I can from them, but also to improve and upgrade my vocabulary and to challenge and push myself. Almost 20 years ago, I studied at University in Hebrew as well as complete my post-graduate qualifications in a “foreign” language, and yet today, there are so many times when I still feel like a brand new immigrant, fresh off the plane with a strong South African accent, trying to find a specific word. Don’t get me wrong, I am so proud of and love my African roots but because I work in both English and Hebrew, it is really important for me to keep developing this area. So I accepted the challenge upon myself.

Full disclosure: It was so tiring, took up so much more time than I ever anticipated and needless to say – it was seriously hard!

(I like to think I’m a strong reader. But this took me ages. I had to look up countless words and concentrate that much harder. It was tough to say the least.)

One year later, and super proud of my achievement, it inspired me to take on another challenge: a full year of daily SAVERS.

For those of you familiar with The Miracle Morning, Hal Elrod’s Life Savers are part of my coaching practice and have become an integral part of my daily routine too. I can’t imagine a day without them. They have become as automated and normal to me as making my morning cup of coffee!

I committed to a full year of SAVERS and I highly recommend it.

SAVERS stand for:

• Silence
• Affirmations
• Visualization
• Exercise
• Reading
• Scribing

I have adapted his version to make it more personal and more of my own and I have stuck to them diligently for a complete year.

They have given tremendous focus and positivity to my day, helped me live with greater purpose and intention and given me access to an energy and passion that used to be much harder for me to recruit.

These are my 365 daily practices.

They take me approximately 45 minutes every day.

Silence: I spend 10 minutes in silence every day. (Sometimes in thought, sometimes in prayer and sometimes in meditation, sometimes doing absolutely nothing). This time is literally GOLD. Now that I have studied and researched the effects of this magic on our brain and not just experienced it first hand, it is nothing short of transformational.

Just do it!

Affirmations: I choose 2 daily affirmations which I repeat to myself plenty times throughout the day. They are brief positive messages that have literally trained my brain to feed me what I need to hear when I need it most.

This past year, one of the affirmations I repeated daily was:

I can handle what comes my way.

I can handle what comes my way.

This statement became a mantra that has helped me keep the faith through some awfully painful, uncertain and fearful times. After repeating this message consistently, my sub-conscious began to internalize it so much that I started believing it. We are stronger and braver than we could possibly know and we can get through hard times. The right mindset is crucial. What positive messages do you repeat that help you?

Visualization: I visualize how I want to show up each day. It can be hugely overwhelming to picture yourself a year or two from now, but choosing how I want to show up just for this day is manageable.

Each morning, I trained myself to take the time and ask:

Who do I want to be today?

How would that ideal me show up for this day?

(As a look ahead at the schedule that awaits me, what do I see, feel and hear….How do I perform, how do I speak, what presence or state of mind do I want to embody today. It is so easy to focus solely on a “to do” list. Trust me, a “to be” list is equally important).

This visualization helped me decide who I wanted to be each day and gave me a sense of personal leadership and power, without having my day decide what kind of person I am going to be for me.

Up until now, many times, my day was in charge of me. If it went well, I was well. If it went haywire, well, you can imagine. Now, I feel more more in control of the kind of person I want to be, no matter what shows up.

This was the hardest muscle for me to strengthen. It’s an ongoing process of choosing to be present, mindful and the master of choice in any given moment. Easier said than done, but so worth it!

Exercise: I do a run or my online workout. Sometimes these workouts are short and can be literally 20-25 minutes only but they raise my heart-rate and they make me sweat and they remind me to cherish my body and the miracle of health. I always feel so charged and great afterwards. Endorphins simply rock!

The comprehensive benefits that working out has on our mind, body and soul are well researched and well known by most, but I will add that everything is honestly better for me after a workout: my attitude, my thoughts, my outlook, my productivity: everything.

Reading: I read every single day, even if it’s just a page. Reading nourishes my soul. (I am referring to reading something inspirational. I literally drink up these books as if they are the only things that can quench my thirst on the hottest day). There is so much to learn it’s truly amazing! I also love biographies, romance and super suspense-filled novels, however this reading is specifically reading that can expand my horizons, motivate me and give me something meaningful to work on within myself.

I have an amazing library and list of books I can recommend you! We live in a day and age where they is so much out there to enjoy. Treat yourself to the best gift!

Scribing: I answer 3 questions every night:

What did I learn today, what am I proud of today and what am I thankful for today?

When I read back my notes at the end of the week, it really helps me see progress, growth, grab some strength and fuel me – especially on hard days.

Truthfully, some days the answers to these 3 questions seem to fly out of my pen effortlessly it is so easy to see my blessings and lessons and wins if its been a rock-star kind of day and then on other days, when I mess up, and experience a setback, or things just don’t work out as I had hoped and everything seems to be going wrong, I have to sit and search with a microscope or tweezers to try and find them. And that’s OK. It’s all part of the process. I have learned over the year of scribing that we always find what we are looking for. So I consciously make myself look for the answers to these 3 questions to end off my day.

These 6 daily savers take me 45 minutes in total and have become a habit that I absolutely love.

I wonder what my next one year challenge will be, do you have one?

What’s on my mind? The word ‘goodness’.

In my Annual Year in Review, I send out a gift. This is an opportunity to review your past year and plan your upcoming year. (Let me know if you want a copy with pleasure, my gift! www.andisaitowitz.com)

One of the sections involves a theme or headline. If you could give your life a theme/headline for the year – what would it be? I love doing my annual review and the feedback I receive from others is always inspiring and heartwarming. We can’t change what we don’t acknowledge so this is a really worthwhile experience to take a good honest look at yourself. Sometimes it hurts, but we know that pleasure isn’t the only motivator to get us to make a necessary change. Often, pain has an important role in driving transformation too.

Over lunch last week, my friend Liza and I were chatting about what our “word” would be. If there would be a single word that we want to embrace and epitomize what would that be.  Liza is a family therapist who helps young parents with authentic parenting.  “Authentic” is clearly her word and she lives it.  I was trying to think what I embrace, what I care about deeply. I toyed with optimism, gratitude, kindness, inspiration and suddenly she said Ands, “goodness” – your word is just “goodness”.

I sat with that a while and fell in love.

Hmmmm – What is life with “goodness” as my theme word?

I started thinking about my health, my relationships & friendships, family time, my work, my hobbies, my community life, my learning – where does this word fit into everything I want to do and be?

I realized: “Goodness” isn’t just my word, it’s actually my world.

Goodness is what enables me to:

• spend time with people I cherish.
• see the spark of the human spirit in others.
• make kind choices & big value-based decisions.
• keep the faith.
• look for the blessings, meaning and lessons.
• embrace second chances.
• believe in what is possible.
• guide, coach, mentor and support my clients.
• live a happier, more meaningful life.
• broaden my perspective.
• Try again
• Empathize
• Listen
• Motivate
• Volunteer
• Serve
• Persevere
• Lead
• Smile
• Appreciate
• Apologize
• Take chances
• Be brave
• Ask for help
• Help others
• Challenge myself and others
• Do good
• Feel deeply
• Cry
• Laugh
• Engage & Connect
• Rest
• Learn
• Mess Up
• Get back Up

Goodness is a like my guide.

The list could go on and on.

And whenever I feel lost, I can use my word to help me find my way.

What is your theme word that you want to live by?

Today when I logged online, this quote came up as my memory from a few years ago.

“Goodness is about character – integrity, honesty, kindness, generosity, moral courage, and the like. More than anything else, it is about how we treat other people”.

Wow.

It reminds me of the immeasurable magic of goodness and how it has the greatest power to transform and elevate everything about the world.

It starts with me. And you. And all of us. Just One act of goodness at a time.

As we contemplate our own character and the tragedies connected to the destruction of the Temple on Tisha B’Av, our sages tell us that the Holy Temple was destroyed and we were exiled from our land because there was “baseless hatred” among us. Accordingly, the only way to bring the Redemption is through baseless love — to love a fellow even though one sees no cause whatsoever for such love.

So for me, Baseless Love = Goodness.

I’m going to try use this as my guide moving forward.

What’s your word going to be?

How would your relationship with yourself look different with your word as your theme?

How would your family life and friendships look different with your word as your theme?

How would your goals, passions, dreams and vision look different with your word as your theme?

How would your business and career, professional life or office look different with your word as your theme?

How would your free time look different with your word as your theme?

How would your health, fitness and wellness look different with your word as your theme?

How would your spiritual, social and communal life look different with you word as your theme?

How would your response to life look different with your word as your theme?

How would your inner dialogue sound different?

How would you perform daily?

What does your future-self look like with your word as its primary adjective?

I’d love to hear from you!

 

 

 

It’s so easy to list everything that was utterly “wrong” with the past 15 months.

I could take up hours and pages trying to adequately do any form of justice to sharing the pain, fear, anger, frustration, hopelessness, exhaustion, grief and heartache.

But that certainly wouldn’t be fun for anyone! (Especially not for me).

It’s all still so raw and so real and at the forefront of my mind and heart, I don’t even need to dig too deeply to try and find it.  And although I believe we are finally out the eye of the storm itself, the destruction and devastation needs its own time to process and then overcome. Bodies, hearts, minds and spirits are so precious and so fragile, no matter how strong we believe they are, and they take time to heal, rebuild and awaken fully once again.

I’m learning to honor that and hold space for that and be patient.

We can’t rush a flower to grow.

We’ve traveled a long hard road and at different resting points, it’s important to not just look back and see how far you’ve come, but it’s also important to recognize the gifts you’ve collected along the way.

The gifts these past 15 months have brought me are worth unwrapping and sharing.

And although I had to work harder than I’ve worked before for anything ever in my life – it was well worth the deeper dive and it’s certainly worth celebrating. Because although life can throw us some powerful knocks that wipe us down to the ground without warning or preparation, there is something down there we’re supposed to find.

What did I possibly find these past 15 months whilst being knocked down, out of breath, bleeding metaphorically from the gaping wounds of loving someone so much and not being able to take the pain away, as if the life inside of me had been sucked out with a blow that hurt so badly, I couldn’t even reach inwards to mend my own broken heart.

As I slowly find my way back up, I found these gifts…

1. A closeness to my children that is indescribable. A relationship and bond that has another added dimension.
2. A return to running, something I hadn’t done in ages! (This led to additional gifts of two half marathon dreams fulfilled).
3. A deep appreciation of health and how to never take it for granted, ever. Each movement is a gift. Each pain-free minute a gift.
4. The gift of continuing education! My NLP Master qualification – tools and techniques that literally changed my life and continue to feed my soul.
5. Heightened awareness of and thankfulness for my most beautiful, genuine and unconditional true friendships. We can’t get back up alone. The gift of holding hands. It’s a lonely road and company makes a difference. I love the people in my life wholeheartedly.

6. Opportunities to experience a broad range of different healing professionals – something I would never had access to or the privilege of knowing. My eyes have been opened to a whole new world! The gift of new eyes!
7. The gift of writing and journaling. Finding my shaking voice among the screaming loud noise of heart-ache, worry and sleep deprivation.
8. The blessing of travel and trips to beautiful places and the creation of unforgettable memories. The gift of collecting so many wonderful experiences!

9. Meditation & Mindfulness Practices – the gift of finding a haven of quiet, an oasis amidst the chaos. I benefit so much from this every day of my life.
10. Prayer – my sacred time to connect with my faith and get much-needed strength to get through each day as best as I could. The gift of wanting to pray, and not having to pray.
11. The gift of an entire family reunion – having my whole family together for Idan’s Barmitzvah was a dream come true, in every possible way imaginable.
12. Meeting new parts of myself. The journey of self-discovery isn’t fun-fairs, fairies and flowers believe me. It’s often painful and dark and a struggle way before it’s anything close to resembling awakening, liberating and transformational. This gift has come with layers and layers to unwrap. Makes it all the more fascinating!
13. Having my rock, my soul mate and best friend as a husband – the gift of holding each other up when all we wanted to do was crumble. I treasure the gift of learning how to put shattered hearts back together again. The gift of knowing it’s possible.
14. The gift of family that cheers you on and wraps you in endless love. Just when you think you can’t throw one more punch, there are the very best people in your corner who look after you so that you can continue to fight your fight.
15. The gift of my super power as a human being: choice. And my ability to keep choosing day after day to get up and put a brave smile on my face and one foot in front of the other. Some days this is easier than others.

Going through any challenge is a process, not an event.

It happens gradually and all we can really ever do is whatever it takes to get through the moment we’re in right now.

I have learned to pause, to sip my coffee slowly, to be present at every sunset, to hug extra tightly, to laugh more, to let go, to forgive, to appreciate, to look after myself, to say no, to ask for help, and to believe that anything is possible.

We all go through our own complex mazes of trying challenges and seemingly insurmountable tests. Collecting gifts along the way is a beautiful and eye opening reminder that even when life is terribly messy, and the maze is intensified with obstacles and stone walls, there are some pretty amazing treasures wrapped up along the way just waiting for us to find them, open them and enjoy them!

Whatever your maze, I invite you to write down your gifts.

And just like when you open a gift there is that element of surprise, I can’t even begin to describe the overwhelming surprises each gift has brought to my life.

My wish for you is that each gift you unwrap brings you everything you want and need.

Meet Dan.

He heads a hugely successful company, lives on the coast with his wife, his 3 children and their gorgeous dog! He has a hobby many people dream about and a lifestyle most people envy.

Dan reached out to me about a specific personal and professional goal that in his own words “no matter which way he tries to pursue it, he sees a wall”.

Dan comfortably described himself in our first session as a world-class critic. He is very aware of his flaws and weaknesses and when he tells his life story, he speaks effortlessly about his failures, his problems and what he hasn’t managed to achieve. He complains about his stress, his obligations and responsibilities and how he usually fixates on what’s not possible.

Before we can begin a coaching process, I give Dan one assignment: To spend the rest of the week noticing and recording his “I love” statements.

These are sentences that he needs to journal each day beginning with “I love”.

Dan sat frozen for 3 days stuck in a fog of skepticism of daily buzz words: journaling, gratitude, mindfulness.

However, knowing I expect full accountability and my client’s homework to be complete for our next session, on day 4 he sat down, grabbed a pen and paper and started.

He subsequently and courageously shared with me on our call how surprisingly difficult this was for him and then sent me the following.

My love sentences….

I love hearing the sound of my kids laughing.

I love the smell of my wife’s baking early in the morning.

I love that I live on the beachfront and can smell the salty air and hear the waves from my porch.

I love that I have such a friendly dog who I enjoy spending time with.

I love that my coach can be thousands of miles away and we can work together via technology.

I love that my body is in great shape and I can do sport pain free.

I love that my two neighbors are my closest friends from high school.

I love that I can travel to a new destination every 3 months.

I love that my parents are both alive.

I love that I have a close relationship with my siblings even though we live in different states.

I love that my children learn in excellent schools.

I love that I sit on the board of an incredible charity.

I love that the US women just won the world cup soccer.

I love that my company is super profitable every year.

I love that my hobby has helped me make new friends.

I love the weekends with my kids at home.

I love that I am a really talented manager.

I love an icy cold shower.

I love that today I cried.

We went through Dan’s sentences one by one.

As he elaborated on each and every one for me, I could see a light in his face that was dim last week.

Unlike the confidence he displayed so naturally when listing everything that was wrong in his life in our first meeting, when reflecting on his “I love” statements, his voice was shaking, and that much softer. I could hear the lump in his throat and could see his heart expand.

When we got to his last sentence, tears filled his eyes.

He told me this was his favorite sentence of the exercise.

When I asked his why, he explained to me that he hasn’t felt deeply in ages.

He was consumed by what he isn’t, where he isn’t, what he doesn’t have and what’s not working and that he was blinded to all the wonderful blessings and gifts that he has in his life.

He said this seemingly trivial, simplistic and rather strange request of mine genuinely helped him to sit down and pause and start to pay attention to and recognize what he loves, rather than allowing what he doesn’t love to continue to govern his day.

What are some of your “I love” sentences? Share them with me.

I love… to read them and be inspired by them.

 

I’m a pen and paper kind of girl.

My calendar, planner and daily to do lists are all handwritten.

My clients (especially my corporate and organizational clients) find it rather amusing that I schedule our sessions in writing and my kids each know my golden rule:

“If it’s not written down, it doesn’t exist”.

This applies to everything from formal arrangements to buying my son new soccer shoes. I don’t rely on my “flawless” memory and so I write everything down. It doesn’t matter how many times they tell me to get something, if it’s not written down, I somehow just won’t remember. Sound familiar?

If you’ve been to the shops recently, you’ll notice the shelves are overflowing with brand new diaries and calendars for the upcoming year. I always get so excited! It’s like countless moments are quietly sitting patiently – just waiting to be created!

(Needless to mention I was one of those students who couldn’t wait to buy new stationary for the school year and could spend hours in these shops!)

And so during the summer weeks as we prepare to fill these sparkling white pages with wonderful new events, beautiful new dreams and unforgettable new memories, I can’t help but reflect back on the past 12 months before I throw out the old and welcome in the new.

I spend hours working with my clients on time management, productivity and the art of efficiency.

I also spend hours working with my clients on cognitive distortions – the way our brains seem to leave out, generalize and change valuable bits of information which then ultimately shape our perception. (More often, to the negative) It’s so easy to end off a year thinking about what you missed, what you failed at, what didn’t work, where you went wrong, how far you still have to go, what’s not working and that you might not be where you want to be. The list goes on and on.

What’s so incredible and so simple about working with a diary and calendar, is you get the luxury of looking back at everything you did achieve!

You get to look at how far you have come.

You get to track and see your progress and your wins.

You get to see all the effort you made and time you devoted.

You get to recall magical moments and special times.

You get to see how you truly spent your time – with who and doing what.

In fact, if you had to study your diary/planner/calendar – you’ll get great insights as to what’s important to you.

You can’t turn around and say your health and fitness matters to you if you didn’t make anytime for a workout.

You can’t turn around and say your learning is important to you if you didn’t make any time to study.

You can’t turn around and say your relationships, friendships and family mean the world to you if you haven’t set aside the time to really spend with them.

What does your diary/calendar/planner reflect for you?

Life is hard and despite all the planning, we get thrown tests we didn’t ask for.

These tests may land up requiring huge amounts of our time.

Looking back, I realize more and more the tremendous positive effect of planning and scheduling happy things, enjoyable pleasures, trips and travel, fun days out. We can never predict what’s going to show up in our lives, but if we consciously dedicate time to the things we love and care about, if we chunk time for our goals and our purpose, we can live with intention and truly make each day count. We don’t have to wait to see what kind of day we’re going to have – we get to decide what kind of day were going to have.

As I start to plug in new meetings and exciting opportunities in my new diary and calendar, I thought it would be worthwhile sharing this idea with you.

Make a list of the things you really want to accomplish this year in any area of your life. Slowly start to write them down. Even 1 thing a month gives you 12 amazing days to look forward to. And while our mind might play with cognitive distortions and often recall the negative, a year from now you’ll have 12 magical memories to celebrate and look back on with huge gratitude.

Despite the most difficult months I’ve endured, there are so many awesome days in my diary and my calendar that warm my heart and make me smile.

 

 

Apparently in some parts of the universe, I am known by my smile.

I wasn’t aware of it until people told me but what I am very aware of is that I choose to try be happy.

I believe that happiness much of the time is an inside job.